at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
