Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
