And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
