im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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