i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
