I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
