Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Fuck appropriateness.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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