i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
