I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Randomize
