Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
