i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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