Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
please come you make the beer taste better
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
