Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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