I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
