She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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