You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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