the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
