Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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