i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
