:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
