Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
