So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
