operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
