happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
