vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
