i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
