Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
