I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
