never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
