New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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