I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
