Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're too hungover to prance.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
