Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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