We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
