i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
