would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
