we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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