Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize