He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Boobs speak an international language.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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