We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
