I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
