after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
