it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
