did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
