it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
