we have officially lost it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
