It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
