shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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