Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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