just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
