Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize