i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
